Behind and Beyond: Gaara
by thelightningblade
Summary: Surrounded by a hate that Gaara never understood he remained innocent and oblivious to the world around him, taking comfort in his one friend Yashamaru. His Father wanted rid of that innocence. To what lengths will Gaara go for his Father's approval?
1. Chapter 1: Isolation

Behind and Beyond; Gaara.

Chapter 1: Isolation.

_'Yashamaru; the only person who was there for me when I had absolutely nobody.  
That person was never truly who I thought he was, neither did we have what I thought we did.  
For a while, I thought that was love. But no longer.  
__I fight for my sake only and live to love no one but myself.  
After all, I've never known the meaning of true "love".  
To me, love... is a completely different language.'  
_

I'd never understood what people were thinking when they looked at me with those eyes. Those hateful eyes... eyes filled with resent and intent to harm. Back then, I was an innocent child, being convinced by Yashamaru that I was being paranoid and that nobody would ever have any reason to hate me. Naïve as I was, I believed him instantly. After all, he was the only one who was there for me at the time; or so it seemed.  
'First day at the academy tomorrow, right Gaara?'  
'Yes...' I replied to him, unenthusiastically. I sighed at the thought of having to attend school; I mean, if the adults were already this cold, what would the children be like?  
'Yashamaru?...' I asked, cautiously.  
'What is it, Gaara?' He replied, with that smile on his face that I admired so much.  
'It's j-just that... well, tomorrow being my first day of school, I really want someone to be there with me... and I know Father won't, so I was wondering if-'  
'Now now Gaara,' Yashamaru replied, sharply. 'That's something I can't do, I'm not your legal guardian. Now, you'd better go home now, or your Father will have both our heads on the chopping board.'  
I sulked up at him as he continued to smile at me, leading me to the door. I knew he was right, my Father definitely wasn't the patient type. As I opened the door a tall, dark person blocked my path.  
'Ah... Kazekage-Sama...' Yashamaru said, awkwardly.

As I looked up at the figure, he looked down at me, his eyes like all the others. He then turned swiftly and started walking away from the house; I knew I was meant to follow. Before I knew it Yashamaru had closed the door and I was outside, alone, with my Father.  
Out of all the people whom resented me, my Father had to resent me the most; this is something I will never understand. The person I admired the most, looking at me with the most bloodthirsty eyes. As I walked a few paces behind him, we walked in complete silence. I wanted to scream at my Father, I wanted to let him know how I felt. But any time I got even close to saying the words, they would cower away inside me. I was then left to look like a fool, as always, before my seemingly omnipotent Father.  
As we entered our household, Temari and Kankuro were waiting to greet Father on arrival and to hang his cloak up. But they didn't even bother to give me a second look, although, I was used to it at that time; it was the norm. As I hung my own cloak up and removed my shoes, I looked back to see Father sitting at his table, staring right at me. I then began to make my way to my room when he said, 'Gaara,' in his deep, monotone voice. 'Come here.' It sent chills down my spine each time he decided to speak to me, but I knew I had to be brave and face him; if I ever wanted his acceptance, that was the first step.  
As I walked towards him, he gave me a stern look and then ushered for me to take a seat.  
Before I knew it, from underneath the table, a kunai knife was flying straight at me. In total shock and confusion I froze, unable to move my feet, or my head; where the kunai was coming towards.  
I closed my eyes tightly, unsure of what was going to happen, but sure it wasn't going to be good.  
I had them closed tightly for a good 5 seconds, and the kunai hadn't hit me.  
I didn't understand.  
Why hadn't it hit me yet?  
Maybe I'm already dead?  
The possibilities were endless in the darkness of my eyelids; that is, until I opened them.  
I saw a wall of sand, blocking the kunai from my face, inches away from me.  
To my instant surprise and confusion, Father was smirking.  
'You've developed well, Gaara of the Sand.'  
And from that day onwards, I would call myself that. I had finally been acknowledged by my Father, at long last.


	2. Chapter 2: Realisation

Behind and Beyond: Gaara

Chapter 2: Realisation.

"_Why hadn't it hit me yet?  
Maybe I'm already dead?  
The possibilities were endless in the darkness of my eyelids; that is, until I opened them.  
I saw a wall of sand, blocking the kunai from my face, inches away from me.  
To my instant surprise and confusion, Father was smirking.  
"You've developed well, Gaara of the Sand."  
And from that day onwards, I would call myself that. I had finally been acknowledged by my Father, at long last."_

It had been a long night for me since that kunai was thrown at me by my Father, and since I'm unable to sleep (because of the Shukaku), the night was drawn out even longer. I had so many questions I wanted to throw at my Father, but even after he had complimented me, I knew they still wouldn't come out.

As usual, my family awoke at dawn, but I had never joined them in the mornings.  
I don't know why, I just didn't.  
Then again, I never really joined them in anything they did.  
My siblings were always busy with their school work, and Father was always on a mission of some sort. After all, he was the _Kazekage_.

Like every morning, I sat at on my bed looking out of my ever-grubby window.  
That is, until I heard a sharp knock on my door. Startled, I tumbled off my bed; immediately looking at the door.  
"H-hello?" I asked, dumbfounded that someone had even wanted my attention.  
"It's Temari," my sister replied, her tone aggressive as usual. I then scrambled up toward the door, pulling myself up via the latch; I then unlocked and opened it.

"What is it?" I asked, looking up at my stern-faced sister.  
"In case you're forgetting, it's your first day at the academy today," She replied, looking away from me, and for some reason, I also saw a trace of embarrassment there too. "So you'd better hurry up and get ready if you'd like someone to escort you there…"  
I looked up at her in awe, unsure if I had heard right. Before I knew it I felt a huge grin grow across my face; and I was hugging my sisters legs tightly, (As I was too small to reach anywhere else at the time).  
"Thanks a lot, Temari! I won't be long, I promise!'

The tone I used just then was probably the most enthusiastic I've ever been; as I hurried around my room to look for clothing, I had never felt happier in my life.  
Could things be turning around for me? Could I, the most hated person in the village, (though I didn't know at the time), make friends?  
As I had finally finished dressing, I ran outside my house to see Temari there waiting for me.

"Where's Kankuro?' I asked out of curiosity, I hadn't seen him at all this morning.  
"He's out accompanying Father on a mission, and next year that'll be me," Temari explained proudly, "Why do you ask anyway?"  
"It's just that, I've always seen you and he travel together to the academy from my window," I replied, cautiously.

Temari then looked down at me, a hint of concern on her face.  
"How often did you watch us make our way to our destinations, Gaara?"  
"Erm…' I replied, looking up at her with such innocence. "Every day?..."  
"Well, in case you haven't realised yet, that's slightly stalker-ish." She replied simply, grinning to herself, eyes closed. "I suggest you don't stare at people either, you don't want to make a bad impression on your first day, believe me."

As we approached the academy, I saw some faces I had never seen before outside the gates, most of them holding their parents hands; the others conversing with them. I was then tempted to hold Temari's hand for comfort, but I knew she'd pull away immediately. Once we had made it to where the other children were standing, the conversations were buzzing and they had bright smiles on their faces.  
That is, until they saw me.

Once they noticed that I was there they immediately fell silent and stared at me, some of them even whispering into their parents ears. I was confused.  
Why were they staring at me with those damn _eyes _again? There was nothing I hated more than people looking at me like that. Didn't Temari say before that if you stare, you'd give a bad impression?  
Well, even if they did know that, they didn't seem to care. Temari didn't even seem to embrace the situation before her; then again, she didn't care either.

Nobody cared. Nobody except _my_ Yashamaru.

As Temari bid me farewell, I looked up at her as if to say "Please, don't go." But by the time I could even think about giving her a second look she'd already made her way into the building. Now, I was left to face the "eye"-bearers alone.  
Each of them continued to stare at me, and more of them began to whisper to their parents. Some of them, I even heard. Things like:  
"Mother, isn't that the kid you told me to stay away from?'  
"Gaara of the Desert, isn't it? He doesn't look so dangerous."  
"Dad, can I please beat him up? He thinks he's so high and mighty!"

It's a horrible thing, loneliness. But even if I wanted to make a friend now, my pitiable confidence had already been completely demolished.  
I decided to face away from the school gates, I thought maybe that way they wouldn't notice me as much. I then looked up to see my Father in the distance, making his way toward the school; he was fully dressed in his Kazekage uniform.

I couldn't help but smile as he came closer to me, all for me! It was honestly hard to believe he was here for only me, anyway.  
"Father!" I cried, as he was now only metres away from me.  
But as I ran towards him, he looked down at me… with those, _eyes_.  
Once I caught a glimpse of them, I stopped in my tracks, and stepped back amongst my fellow students. As I was put in my place he made his way to the front of the crowd.

He cleared his throat, theatrically to get the attention of the children. Though, he didn't need to, they were ready to listen intently.  
"Welcome to the academy, my children. I equitably hope that you will all grow up to be incomparable Shinobi of Suna. Before you start your fruitful journey on the path of the Shinobi; know this. It will not be a contented one. Nonetheless, make sure you face the dangers ahead with no fear; work hard and you will be prosperous. That is all."

I watched my Father in awe as he made his speech, and as he came to the end of it, the other children started clapping and whooping. He grinned and bowed, making his way from the school to his offices. I continued to watch as he walked away, barely noticing that the children had made their way inside the gates of the academy. I scurried in after them once I realised this.

I had always looked up to my Father, the reason being I wanted to become like him one day; maybe even a Kazekage. But I promised myself that if I were to have children of my own one day, I would never treat mine as he had treated his.

As we walked through the tall corridors of the school, I tagged along at the back of the other children; and that was when I realised I had always been behind others.  
For my whole life, I was always the last one to know something.  
The last one to catch on…

And that was when I vowed to make a change; a real one. I would make my family proud of me. I, Gaara of the Desert, will become omniscient and prosperous!  
I would devote my life to my studies, and make my father love me once and for all.  
Then, and only then would I be accepted for who I am.

"Alright Class," an unfamiliar voice called out to us; snapping me out of my sudden realisation. "Welcome to Suna's pride, where you will grow up to become elite Shinobi of the Sand! I, Nobuyuki Yukari, will be your Sensei for your time here at the academy. From here on out, you will know me as Nobuyuki Sensei."

[[ **Hey guys, sorry about this chapter not being interesting, but I'll upload the next part a.s.a.p, as I couldn't put the main part of this chapter onto here; to me that would've been too long and boring. xDD Hearts! ~ ]]**


	3. Chapter 3: A Request

Behind and Beyond: Gaara.

Chapter 3: A request.

_"__And that was when I vowed to make a change; a real one. I would make my family proud of me. I, Gaara of the Desert, will become omniscient and prosperous!  
I would devote my life to my studies, and make my father love me once and for all.  
Then, and only then would I be accepted for who I am.  
"Alright Class," an unfamiliar voice called out to us; snapping me out of my sudden realisation. "Welcome to Suna's pride, where you will grow up to become elite Shinobi of the Sand! I, Nobuyuki Yukari, will be your Sensei for your time here at the academy. From here on out, you will know me as Nobuyuki Sensei.""_

The teacher didn't look very professional, I thought to myself. She didn't look like an elite Shinobi either, to be quite honest. She stood at around 5'5, bearing a Chuunin jacket and fishnet sleeves. She also wore shorts and knee-high socks, which complimented her thin thighs. She had a dull face, and what seemed, almost black, glassy eyes; which reminded me of an eagle. On top of all the tediousness, she had short, light brown hair.

My classmates seemed to have the same idea of our new Sensei; one of my peers even snorted after her introduction. Nevertheless; she smiled down at all of us enthusiastically. "Basically today, I will be assigning you to your new seating plan! The people who you are put next to will be your working partners for the rest of the year; any questions?" She said this all very quickly, without even taking a breath.

One child put their hand up. As I looked over to him, I received a dirty look, and he asked; "Sensei," pointing straight at me, "Please, don't assign me with him."  
The boy who said this, as I recall, was the one who requested permission to beat me up, from his Father. He was slightly taller than me, with jet black hair and piercing blue eyes; I could almost feel them cut right through to my soul, and not in the good way.

As he said this, I felt my head bow slightly, and my eyes starting to water; I didn't want them to see me cry, so I turned around and looked out the dusty window.  
The teacher gasped slightly, and retaliated in a hushed voice; "People like you end up not having many friends in the end, just bear that in mind next time you embarrass a helpless classmate." I then turned around, and looked up at her thankfully, feeling a small smile creep across my face. Our Sensei frowned down at the boy, and then asked, "What's your name, Child?"

I looked over at him, watching him grin cheekily. "The name's Hiroki Susumu," he replied, with smugness which made me, of all people, want to hit him.  
"Well, my dear Hiroki," said Nobuyuki, sighing to herself, "You've just earned yourself your very first referral, which I will be delivering to your parents tonight; explaining why."  
Hiroki sighed and leaned against the wall, mumbling to himself, "Like I care, anyway…"

As our Sensei hushed us, she held up a piece of paper. "This will be the seating plan, starting from the top left of the seats, ending at the bottom right of them. The list is as follows:  
"Mizuki, Takashi,  
"Sora, Mizuki,"  
The list went on for two more sets of pairs, then I was left with four more children, including Hiroki. I crossed my fingers behind my back, hoping, praying that I wouldn't be paired with him. But knowing my luck…

"And last, but not least, Hiroki Susumu and Gaara." She said, looking up from the paper to see Hiroki's reaction. But, to my surprise, all he did was make his way to the seat he had been assigned to. I followed after him, cautiously.  
As I sat down, he moved his chair as far as he could, away from mine. This didn't really bother me; he didn't seem to think of harming me in any way.  
Or so it seemed, for now.

For what seemed forever, the class sat there in silence listening to Nobuyuki Sensei go over the rules and regulations for the academy. Throughout the whole time, Hiroki never said one word to me… he didn't even give me a second look.  
But I couldn't help but keep glancing at him, I felt as though he was going to attack me at any moment; I don't know why. I just did.

As the day came to an end, I heard a bell sound and my peers immediately stood up, packing away their belongings into their bags. As each and everyone but I and Hiroki stood up, I decided it was time for me to leave too, even though I wanted to thank Nobuyuki Sensei for standing up for me earlier. As I stood up, and tucked my chair in, I felt something come beneath my foot, and then I fell onto the ground; with a thump.

I let out a groan and pushed myself up from the ground, looking back at what had caused my fall. As I predicted, Hiroki's foot was still there; and he stood there; grinning down at me triumphantly. As everyone heard the loud thump on the floor, they looked back at me and burst into fits of laughter. I then pushed myself up, grabbed my bag and ran out of the classroom as fast as my miniature legs could carry me.

As I ran out of the school, I heard some people behind me; they were running too.  
But they were also shouting my name.  
I looked back, I saw Hiroki and some of my other peers chasing after me; they were all laughing… and wielding kunai.  
I gasped as I saw the shine of the small knives, and picked up my pace.

This was probably the scariest moment of my life, as they all seemed to have the eyes; the eyes that are intent on killing. I continued to run but I knew I couldn't for much longer, I wasn't the most athletic of children and I didn't have much stamina either; but I knew for a fact that they were picking up speed.

I looked around the street I was running down, and I used every ounce of power I had left in me to continue; the damn street seemed to go on forever.  
I knew I would be forced to stop soon. I was going to drop at any minute.  
"Hey, come back here you freak! We just want to talk to you!" On of my chasers shouted; but I didn't believe that for one second they wanted to just talk to me.  
"You're not getting away that easily!"

As I came to the end of the street, I saw a turning. I thought at the time it was my best option, and that maybe I could hide in the shadows; but as I turned and ran down the dark corner, I realised something.  
It was a dead end, I was trapped.  
I turned around and awaited my pursuers' arrival, trying my hardest to catch my breath and get my strength back; then they came, walking ever so slowly down the dark alley; smirking menacingly.

"As I said," Hiroki started, "You're not getting away that easily."  
I continued to attempt to get my breath back, but the best I could do was back into the wall behind me, sliding down it, forming a sitting position. I looked up at their evil faces, and felt tears coming to my eyes. "W-what have I done?" I started to sob, tears running down my face. "What have I ever done to you?"

As I said this, they started laughing as hard as ever. When they were finally done, Hiroki looked at me, as did the others, smirking savagely again.  
"I never knew a freak like you could have feelings, you big baby!" He shouted down at me, lifting his leg and aiming his foot at my face at an alarming rate.  
It all happened so fast, but before I knew it, he had fallen on his back, on the floor.  
Something had tripped him, and I had a pretty good idea of what it was.

His little friends stood behind him, looking at me in fearful awe. I looked up at them with a questioning look, my eyes still wide with fear. As Hiroki began to stand up, he looked at me ferociously. "Is that the best you've got, freak?" He questioned me, but it was almost a scream. I scrambled to my feet and he aimed a kick at me again, but this time I decided to keep my eyes wide to see what would happen.

As I watched sand come to my immediate aid, this time it twisted Hiroki's ankle. I listened to him let out a shriek of pain, and land on his back with a great thump again. This time, the sand stayed on Hiroki's twisted ankle, and pulled him towards me. He screaming and squirmed, but my sand was too strong for his retaliation.  
I looked down at him; and couldn't help but grin.  
"L-let me go," Hiroki began to beg, "LET ME GO YOU FREAK!"

I began to get angry, being called freak made something snap inside, and I was the one bearing the menacing eyes this time. As I looked down at him with these eyes, he began to sob and scratch and the sandy floor, attempting to get away from me.  
"It's not nice…is it? The pain…"  
And suddenly the sand seemed to tighten around his ankle, which made him shriek even louder than before.

I decided that it was my turn to be the evil one, and sent my sand up his leg… yes; I was going to break his leg. But then, the next thing I knew, Yashamaru stood before me, defending the what seemed, helpless child before me; sending my sand away.  
"Gaara… please, stop."  
My eyes widened as I called my sand away, looking up at Yashamaru with such regret. What had I done? This wasn't me; I'm not like those other children.

I then fell to my knees and began to sob, bringing the palms of my hands to my face. I shook violently, filled with regret and sorrow. "Y-Yashamaru… I'm… s-so sorry," I tried to say between my violent sobs. "P-please forgive me!"

It was then he shook his head, picked up the child I had tortured, and walked away from me, the other children following behind him hastily.  
I was left there alone in the alley, to wallow in my own solitude.  
As I continued to sob into the palms of my hands, I heard an almost silent thump before me. I looked up slowly, to see my father kneeling down, smirking.

"Well well, Gaara. It seems you have developed more than I had thought; or could even imagine. You've already became the ultimate weapon of destruction, and I will need your valuable services. If you wish to impress me, wow me, make me truly accept you; then meet me outside the gates of the Academy at midnight. There is something I will need you to assist me with. Do not disappoint me."  
Before I could even reply, he had jumped away from me; into the shadows of this blissful night.

There is no doubt about it; I will attend whatever you want me to Father.  
I will make you proud.


End file.
